Fighting the poppies while feeling touched

Living on this pain medication is very much like living in the poppy fields of Oz. To get anything done I first have to overcome the inertia. Then I have to maintain a steady, stoic pace. If I go too fast I burn out and have to sleep. If I go to slow I give in to inertia and nothing gets done. Sit down once and you have to start the whole cycle over again.

Today I did three loads of laundry and was actually assisted by a visit from Liz. She kept me awake and engaged enough to get it all done without falling asleep in between loads.

She delivered a set of gifts from my co-workers that has me touched and a little embarrassed. I don’t feel I can go into a lot of detail. It’s going to be as cryptic as hell, but I initially turned down a sacrifice they had all offered to make on my behalf. I was so touched by their offer that I spent the week telling everyone about it, from other friends to the home care nurse who changes my PICC dressing to the nurses at the Wound Clinic. They were all big eyed and impressed at the offer and I was genuinely choked up with each telling.

I turned them down because I felt my illness has already cost everyone far too much as it is, just simply by my not being able to be at work. Then they turned around and found a way to give me the gift anyway. I’m touched. I truly am. I work with some incredibly caring (and sneaky) people.

My leg continues to improve, albeit slowly. I’m impatient and want it all done now, of course, but I can see progress and that is keeping me sane. For now.

I am still only able to sit up for short periods, generally when I’ve taken my antibiotics and am required to sit up anyway. I also make sure I get out and walk every day. Today it was a short walk to the drug story to stock up on Club Soda. It’s cheap and keeps me hidrated, and gives me a good excuse to walk.

I still can’t walk without a destination or goal in mind. Whether it be to meet someone for a very short coffee (since I can’t sit for long) or if it’s to pick up a single package of wine gums I need a reason to be walking. Maybe someday I’ll start a walk with some trumped up goal and then forget it entirely and find myself walking for the sake of walking.

And now I must return to my reclyning position and resume my fight with the poppies.

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