Changes are being made, have been made, and will be made.
I have lost weight over the past month. I have no idea how much I’ve lost, but it is noticeable. One belt notch smaller and skin hangs just a little looser. The biggest change, however, is the ability to walk more than five blocks without feeling winded. No, seriously, it was getting that bad.
When my leg was damaged and I was just barely starting to recover I would get myself out to walk at least 5,000 steps each day. It was relatively easy for a number of reasons: 1) the illness caused me to loose over fifty pounds, 2) it was summer, 3) I was off work and had very little else to do. Also, my pain had abated so I could stand without wanting to scream.
Since then I’ve gained all that weight back plus a lot and work a sedentary job. And it’s winter. So I have very little desire to walk at all.
Honestly, though, a significant factor was my anti-depression medication. I’d never felt so huge in all my life and it was a serious chore just to get to the coffee shop. I was literally bursting at the seams.
Now I’ve been off the medication for about six weeks and noticing a huge improvement. Nothing much else has changed. I still work a sedentary job and I’m still adverse to walking in winter and I still eat more or less the same food. But yesterday I took myself out for dinner to a local Vietnamese restaurant and, afterward, went for a walk around the neighborhood. I not only felt like taking a walk, I honestly felt I needed to take a walk. I put in my 5,000 steps and, when I returned home, I was tired but not winded. The difference is a bit difficult to explain. Merely being tired I was still able to put together my lunch for the next day and perform a few other chores. Arriving home winded, as I did when on medication, it was all I could do to get my shoes off and dump my coat before collapsing onto the couch.
It’s a small difference, much like the belt notch, but it’s having a dramatic effect on my mood. It has improved the perception that I might actually be able to make more significant improvements with my life this year.
Now, I haven’t been keeping up with the walking in general, and I’m obviously pretty far behind on my writing, but I have been going out with friends at least once a week, often twice, and that has been getting me out of the house.
The truth is, of course, that I’m still lonely. And that will remain so long as I’m alone. The difference, though, is that I can cope with being alone. I’ve done it before. And now I’m dealing with it better than ever before.
Random. This was random. But at least it hit my daily quota and wasn’t just endless lines of profanity.
Oh, and I’m also drinking a hell of a lot more water lately. Because I’m craving it, not because I’ve decided to make any specific health changes. My body is telling me to drink, and the only thing that satisfies is water. I’m just going to let that continue to happen.
Wonton continues to grow more intelligent and curious. I fear for my material goods. I bought her a food ball, kind of like a kong ball for dogs, in which I place a measure of dry cat food and let her play with it. It has a number of holes and you can adjust how many are open, changing the difficulty level. It took Wonton less than a week to figure out how to open the thing completely. This worries me a great deal because, as best as I can figure, it requires two hands and at least one thumb to be able to open it. Yet there it is, open and empty.